The phrase that got my attention this past week was 'my team.' It seems innocuous enough, and often is meant as a term of inclusion. The expression may be intended to convey that the leader is a part of the team and shares the credit or responsibility with their teammates. However, that was not the use of ‘my team’ that triggered this post.
The phrase can also be used in a possessive manner. 'This is my team,' where 'my' implies ownership. I am reminded of the seagull in the Disney movie squawking “mine, mine, mine…” Think about what the possesive use conveys about the speaker and how it may be viewed by the members of the team when it is spoken by the leader. It particularly irks me when what I really hear is self aggrandizement, like the leader feels the need to let someone else know that they are in charge - this team is mine, mine, mine. It carries an ego message, like the next thing the person is going to tell us is how many people they manage, as if it is a yardstick on their success.
Alternatively, think about how 'our team' sounds. 'Our' is inclusive, collaborative, a little bit humbling, and truly team oriented. Even if you are leading, you are still on the team, and commitments and achievements are owned by the team. ‘Our team’ does not separate the leader from the individuals on the team. This subtle difference is particularly apparent when something goes wrong and the leader explains what happened by saying ‘my team’ caused the problem. It sounds as if the leader is distancing themself from the team, pointing to the people working for them, and implying they were at fault. Wouldn’t it be better to say ‘our team’ or ‘we?’ Best of all would be to follow the management lesson that tells us successes belong to the team, but failures belong to the leader. When describing successes, a leader’s words should be 'our team’ or ‘we’ achieved this success,' but when it becomes necessary to discuss a failure, the leader’s responsibility is to own the miss with a clear 'I take responsibility' message.
In an earlier post, I wrote about banning the word ‘they’ and forcing people to say ‘we.’ The idea is to move from a finger-pointing, blame culture to a shared responsibility, collaborative culture. Referring to ‘our team’ instead of ‘my team’ is a corollary to banning the word ‘they.’ Banning the word ‘my’ can be just as liberating as banning ‘they.’ Try it.